VAMPIRE MOVIES

In honor Of TWILIGHT: NEW MOON being a success and Ruining a new era of moviegoers with it’s Romeo & Juliet with vampires storyline. I am rather tired of all this romanticism of vampires everywhere all of a sudden in books on television and in movies. Can a slasher get a hug. Vampires are always so Romantic, distinguished and classy sort of like the myth applied to Europeans. That I tend to like the films that give you more of a realistic portrayal. That look at it as more of a curse you have been infected with. That make it seem more like a drig addiction you have been infected with that you can’t quit or you die.  One of the problems is that there has been plenty of films with vampires in them that don’t really feel like or to me count as vampire movies.  I have decided to make a list of vampire movies that might be more entertaining then any TWILIGHT movies.

 

THE GOOD

-         The Lost Boys

-         Let The Right One In – if you haven’t seen it go now

-         Near Dark – A Classic

-         Thirst

-         Blade 2

-         Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Campy But I like the Design of the film and enjoyed it as a child and surprisingly still do

-         Interview With the Vampire – Though the book is better

-         Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Series

-         Angel: The Series

-         Vamp

-         Fright Night

-         From Dusk Til Dawn

 

THE BAD

-         Underworld 2 – Actually more enjoyable then the original but still more style then substance

-         Blade

-         My Best Friend Is A Vampire – Cute and Cheesy

-         Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Movie

-         Shadow Of The Vampire

-         Fright Night 2

-         The Hunger

-         The Addiction

 

 

THE UGLY

-         Underworld – more style then substance

-         Blade: Trinity

-         Queen Of The Damned

-         The Forsaken

-         Innocent Blood – Good idea, Bad Follow Through

PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE

Directed By: Lee Daniels
Written By: Geoffrey Fletcher
Cinematography By: Andrew Dunn
Editor: Joe Klotz

CAST: Gabourey Sibibe, Monique, Paula Patton, Sherri Shepherd, Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey

Yes that is truly the whole film title.

The film is a emotional rollercoaster. While not as depressing as I thought it would be. It is a truly dark film.

If you have seen Lee Daniels Previous films As Director (Shadow Boxer) or Producer (Monster’s Ball, The Woodsman) you would know he is drawn to these types of subjects. While He is not the greatest directors he does have a talent for bringing out amazing performances from actors you would never think had it in them.

This film makes you feel all over the place in different scenes. You will Feel Happy, Hopeful, Mad and Sad. It’s a film you have to experience more then anyone can describe it to you. It certainly had a effect on the audience I watched it with. The audience could hardly contain there reactions to the film, Scenes and characters. I’m not going to bore you with the plot you can look it up and the film is honestly better the less you know going in. This is definitely not a movie for kids. Not even to take as a lesson of hope. 

Each Scene that involves precious and her mother feels like a old west showdown. The Two titans in one room circling each other each with there hands on there guns. Only the mother has the home court advantage as she is scary and she never gets up out of her chair. It’s almost like a horror film the tension is always that thick between the two of them.  

Some of the artistic flourishes get a little annoying but you get through those easily enough. at times it seems like it is trying to hard in those scenes but understandable if you look at them as metaphors.

Thank god for the scenes of hope that break up the gloom and tension. The scenes of precious in school or around her classmates actually, brung a smile to my face as it helped lighten the mood and showed hope.

The performances are good all around even in the Minor roles. Monique totally transforms into her character Of Precious’s mother and a true face of evil a monster in human skin. Her performance is definitely notable and Oscar worthy. Even the roles played by Lenny Kravitz and Mariah Carey could have been distracting but they fit right in and never take you out of the film.  

I know I maybe reviewing more with my emotions then with technical aspects of the film. But at times some of the best films or many people’s favorites are more based o emotional reactions then visual dynamics.

The film says it’s based on a true story because there are real Precious’s out there going through this. This film just tries to put a face on the people involved and a voice for those who can’t speak out.

I can’t say enough about how good this film is. While not the best film of the year it certainly will affect you somehow. I know this will not be some of you out there’s cup of tea but give it a chance it will surprise you.

Definitely a must see.

GRADE: A-

I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER (2009)

Directed By: Chris Columbus
Written By: Larry Doyle (Based On His Book)
Cinematography By: Phil Abraham
Editor: Peter Honess

CAST: Paul Rust, Hayden Panettiere, Jack T. Carpenter, Lauren London, Lauren Storm, Shawn Roberts, Samm Levine, Andrea Savage, Alan Ruck, Cynthia Stevenson, Patt Finn

This is a disappointment considering I loved the book so much. Soon as I heard that Hayden Panettiere Was staring as Beth Cooper I knew it was doomed. I thought in the hands of Chris Columbus this could be decent but this is studio chis Columbus not early screenwriting whiz Chris Columbus the man behind YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES.

Basically that is what is wrong with the film the cast is just strange. But I can’t blame Mr. Columbus Totally since the screenplay is written by the author of the book. Who initially had the idea to write this as a screenplay but when there was no interest decided to write is as a book to garner more interest and low and behold they decided to make it into a film. But the funny thing is that it was better as a book!!! With a better ending that felt full while being ambiguous while this one just feels dead.

The film feels like it was sanitized from the book so it could play to younger teens but keeping some Raunch so that it doesn’t seem too tame. It’s a film that talks down to its audience by just lumping in one slapstick violent scene to the next. Instead of sticking to a novel that managed to be funny, Naughty but also reminded you of what it was like to be young and have that passion for a girl of your dreams. With your future ahead of you. This film just feels gimmicky. It has no soul.

The film is a perfect timewaster but you won’t laugh much or remember too much afterwards, it makes a threesome not sexy at all nor funny. This film will be perfect to put on television as you don’t really have to cut anything. Plus the characters don’t remind me of any real teenagers at all. This film came and went to theaters with hardly a blip on the screen. Which is not all that surprising since as soon as I saw the trailer I knew it was doomed. It wasn’t funny and felt like it was trying way too hard. It was a struggle and after i saw the trailer my heart broke. When it comes to the cast.

Paul Rust is a good actor with a strange look but he still looks to old to be in this film. I thought it was impossible but the film finds a way to make Lauren London not attractive plus it doesn’t give her much to do. Hayden penirette is attractive but she doesn’t have the look or character to play this dream girl that many men obsess over she looks just regular to me. Plus her character half the time seems a little off or crazy and her later reasoning make no sense in the film. Plus with the age difference of her and the male lead it makes him more look like a molester then a paramour. The only actor who comes off good is Jack T. Carpenter, Who plays his sexually confused best friend while he is funny I only wish it was in a better film. This film is not horrible but it’s not good or decent either.

Maybe a good pick for older highly clean cut kids but all others will be bored except for maybe senior citizens.

Wait for TV. Which I’m sure it will be on in no time.

GRADE: D

GOOD HAIR (2009)

Directed By: Jeff Stilson
Written By: Lance Crouther, Chris Rock, Jeff Stilson, Chuck Sklar
Cinematography By: Cliff Charles & Mark Henderson
Editor: Paul Marchand & Greg Nash 

Featuring: Raven Symone, Eve, Salt N’ Pepa, Lauren London, Maya Angelou, Andre Harrell, Sarah Jones, Nia long, Tracie Thoms, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Megan Goode, Melyssa Ford, Al Sharpton, Ice-T, Paul Mooney, KRS-ONE, 

This is a must see. It’s not the greatest documentary of all time but it is like a Michael Moore documentary in other words it’s a documentary for people who don’t usually like or go to documentry’s it’s funny while being informative and bringing up emotions of course the film has the celebrity interviews to bring more people in to see them give there personal account of the subject but that is not the whole film it’slike a little boost now and then

Good hair is about the business and culture of black women and there hair the processes they go through to be what is taught to them to be beautiful by straightening and having long hair. It not only follows the culture by talking to hairdressers and the women who are paying big bucks for this but it also talks to business owners and the place where most of this hair is coming from India. While exploring this it is also follows the Bronner Brothers hair show and the competition for hairstylist of the year. The subjects are almost as entertaining as the film and some easily walk away with the film.

Though the film is hosted by chris rock he is not the director he is the producer and host because this subject is something he wanted to explore but he is the one asking all the questions and helping to explain everything. While showing sad and hostile scenes and making them a little more bearable and calm through comedy. But you can’t help but think a lot of times he gets answers and access a little more easier because of his celebrity status. Without that it might have been a little harder to gain access to certain places. 

The film is much like the skit when Chris Rock hosted the scars, and he went to a black movie theater and asked them about the Oscar nominated films. Through his comedy he is exploring and shining a light on a broader serious subject.

The shameful facts of the film are aplenty like the fact that African Americans are 12% of the population but 90% of the fake hair business a billion dollar business that only 5 % of African Americans own any of the businesses. Most of the companies are owned or run by Koreans. The Fact that as a African American it seems so hard to keep our own money in our community and we willingly gie it away to others who make money off of our community but don’t respect us is a on-going problem and another reason why it seems hard for us to come together and have any power as a community. The film is certainly an eye opener. Plus as African American cinema it is a film that needs to be supported so that more black cinema can be made and cultivated since there is so little of it out there. 

As usual I was enjoying the film so much I only wished it had been longer.

GRADE:  B+   

MR. WOODCOCK (2007)

Directed By: Craig Gilliespie
Written By: Michael Carnes & Josh Gilbert
Cinematography By: Tami Reiker
Editor: Kevin Tent & Alan Baumgarten

Cast: Seann William Scott, Susan Sarandon, Billy Bob Thornton, Ethan Suplee, Amy Poehler, Tyra Banks, Brent Briscoe, Melissa Sagemiller, Melissa Leo, Sarah Chalke, M.C. Gainey

Why oh why?  This film involves actors I usually like but they seem wasted in this film

This is pretty much a one joke movie about what if not only was the biggest bully in your life your high school gym teacher who made your life hell but then years later he is dating your mom and going to become your step-dad. Now imagine your whole career has been made being a self-help guru from bettering yourself to not be the person you once were and then you are forced to face the person who makes you feel bad about yourself. Now this is great for a skit or tv-sitcom but for a 90 minute movie is torture.

Seann William scott seems sedated in this movie as almost every other actor goes over the top the only other actor who seems to match him is billy bob thornton who seems to either be sleepwalking or bored to death in his quest for his paycheck. Amy poehler is funny as usual but wisely she is hardly in the movie. Ethan suplee acts like he wants to make his character a breakout star.

There were only rally two funny scenes one involves mr. woodcock thinking sean William scott is a burglar and beats him the other is a supposed homemade video of mr. woodcock abusing one of his students. That’s really it other scenes try hard but the harder they try the more humor they drain form the scene and situation.

The film tries to make us feel for mr. woodcock towards the end by making him human and sympathetic in his own way the only problem is it doesn’t make sense since we have seen his behavior before and that is not so forgiveable like admitting he picked on these kids for no real reason. He says making them real men but many seem messed up except for one student who was successful. Telling Sean William scott’s character about his and his mother’s sex life.

The ending feels rushed and tacked on like they didn’t know how to end the film. This is another example of a film that didn’t need to be made or at least needed to be worked on before it was fast tracked and filmed there is a reason this was kept on a shelf for two years there was no way to save this film just like there is no way you should watch it.          

 GRADE:  F

THE CHUMSCRUBBER (2005)

Directed By: Arie Posin
Written By: Arie Posin (Story); Zac Stanford (Screenplay)
Cinematography By: Lawrence Shor
Editor: William S. Schraf & Arthur Schmidt 

CAST: Jamie Bell, Camilla Belle, Alison Janney, Glenn Close, William Fichtner, Lou Taylor Pucci, Justin Chatwin,  Jason Issacs, Rita Wilson, John Heard, Carrie-Anne Moss, Ralph Fiennes, Rory Culkin, Lauren Holly, Caroline Goodall

Well apart from not the best title in the world.

Despite having a All-Star cast the material never rises above it’s quirky to be quirky premise.

The film seeks to be a Deep, Dark Comedy that comes off as Idiosyncratic comedy that deep down wants to be a satire of the suburbs and teenage alienation.

The story involves a teenagers suicide and the ramifications that it has through the small community. The teenager was selling drugs to his peers and without a constant supply they try to get his best friend to get them drugs when he refuses they kidnap his brother and hold him ransom the only thing is they kidnap the wrong kid. That is just one of the story threads in this of the characters are messed up in there own way. The title comes from a video game the kids all play that seems to mirror there lives.

The film seems to be what a Hollywood studio thinks a indie movie is supposed to be. The elements are there the All-Star cast that seems to be partially slumming because the material is so rich only here it is not. It has satire and social commentary with a handful of dramatic moments. A good looking young cast.

The only real dramatic moments or scenes that felt real come at the beginning and ending of the film.

Certain characters are memorable and hold there own in there scenes to ground the movie a little like Glenn close in the film.

The direction is stylish, I only wish the he had the material to match it.

Wait For Cable.

GRADE: C-

ULTRAVIOLET (2006)

Written & Directed By: Kurt Wimmer
Cinematography By: Arthur Wong
Editor: William Yeh 

CAST: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, William Fichtner,  

What starts off as a futuristic looking action film is really nothing but a dressed up vampire film more form the vampires point of view. The way the material is approached is that it doesn’t have the typical horror cononentations it doesn’t take place at night there is not much gore or suspense.

What you get is a film filled with so much special effects and CGI that it is practically an animated film even in the action scenes.

Milla jovovich deserves better then this especially since she is really the only female action film star out there. The sad part is that they would never let a movie like this pass with a male star at least not let it go into theaters. It comes off more like a well written graphic novel premise or video game treatment.

This film maybe could have been something if the script was worked on more but it seems like they just released it and dumped it in late December where there was really no competition for it since it is prime movie season for kid’s fantasy and dramatic competition films I think the studio guess edit would be cool to release something action oriented and make a quick buck.   

She takes on tons of henchmen and villains but at no point do you ever doubt she will wi against them no matter how many come at her at once. So that there is really no suspense. It also becomes sort of a Videogame as she just keeps going and going through them barely breaking a sweat and neer running out of weapons or ammo and never needng to take a rest maybe that’s why there is the vampire thing. Since there doesn’t see to really be any human characters.

This film has the same problems as the film version of aeon flux both films come off as cold and so unrealistic it is barely watchable so are the colors in this film they all seem to be either bright or neon colored and all the main male characters look and act like they are models in a cologne commercial.    

 The Film just comes off as desperate to please but falls very short in not satisfying anyone.

GRADE: F

PANIC IN NEEDLE PARK (1971)

Directed By: Jerry Schatzberg
Written By: John Gregory Dunne & Joan Didion;
Based On The Book By: James Mills
Cinematography By: Adam Holender
Editor: Evan Lottman

 

CAST:  Al Pacino, Raul Julia, Kitty Winn, Kiel Martin

 

This film is overwhelmingly Bleek and realistic. At once it makes you nostalgic for it’s time period and sickened by the characters that the film is set around. Everything is dirty and disgusting. The performances so raw and real that without a plot to revolve around it feels like you are watching a documentary but the characters could make for captivating viewing. It works for and against the movie it is a revelation into a lifestyle but it is a lifestyle with characters you might not want to spend two hours watching. There are no heroes or villains only real people who make some right decisions but usually the wrong ones. Thinking they are doing the right thing.

 

They don’t make films like this anymore. Today’s hard hitting films still have that gleam and gloss that separates you from the subject.

 

Al Pacino is a revelation and reminds you of how good he was at one time. These days it’s sometimes hard to watch him act without shaking your head. Because seeing him here in his prime reminds you what he is capable of that now he seems lost or like we will never see that performer again.

 

As the ending of the film shows life keeps going on with or without you. People need people even if they are not good for them. People are willing to live in pain if only to get joy from someone they love for a few minutes. This film left me depressed after watching it. It affected me so much. It is a good film but it affected me in a bad way. The only other film that bummed me out as bad was THE JIMMY SHOW. Which this film is better than. It’s a classic film to watch with early Pacino in a starring role.

 

But I warn you it’s a sad story of heroin addiction and the lengths people will go to get it. The film spotlights two characters two people as a couple as they meet and fall in love and support each other while being consumed by addiction.

 GRADE: B-

AMERICAN PIE (1999)

Directed By: Chris Weitz & Paul Weitz
Written By: Adam Herz
Cinematography By: Richard Crudo
Editor: Priscilla Nedd-Friendly 

CAST: Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nichols, Eugene Levy, Eddie Kaye Thomas, John Cho, Tara Reid, Natasha Lyonne, Shannon Elizabeth, Mena Suvari, Chris Klein, Christina Milian, Alyson Hannigan, James Debello, Lawrence Pressman, Clyde Kusatsu, Eden Riegel, Casey Affleck,Tara Subkoff,  Mark Hoppus, Tom Delonge,  Travis Barker, Jennifer Coolidge

The plot is a bunch of teenage boys decide to make a pact to lose there virginity by the prom. Some already have experience some don’t just like some have girlfriends most don’t but they are going to help each other to there destination. They all have hijinks and obstacles they must overcome and get through.

I like to consider this the PORKY’S of the nineties or at least the American remake of it the closest we will get anyway. The film opened the eyes of nineties teenagers the way PORKY’S did in the 80’s. it revitalized a genre that seemed dead. It was hardcore for it’s time with nudity and actual sexual situations of course played for comedy but still entertaining it pushed the envelope with pride.

This film launched many careers and looking at it now it’s nice to see the cast that is so young and innocent. The movie is very entertaining it has many memorable scenes and characters

I like the fact that not everything is perfect in this film like the scenes involving the choir competition. The choir is not top notch even though they are in the competition. The film also wins point as most of the cast look like normal teenagers not gorgeous models but awkward looking gawky teenagers.

The film works on two levels as a teen movie and as a comedy. You don’t have to be young to get it. It feels original and organic not like it comes off of a assembly line. The film breezes by with the mainstays of the genre with the culmination happening at the prom. What helps the audience also feel close to the characters is the film isn’t smooth and shiny it looks like budget stuff not sharp but affordable.      

A Good Rental

GRADE: C+

FREQUENCY (2000)

Directed By: Gregory Hoblit
Written By: Toby Emmerich
Cinematography By: Alar Kivilo
Editor: David Rosenbloom 

Cast: Dennis Quaid, Andre Braugher, Noah Emmerich, Elizabeth Mitchell, Melissa Errico, Jordan Bridges, James Caviezel, Michael Cera, Marin Hinkle

This is a beautiful father and son story that is perfect for showing not only the emotional bond between parents and kids but also the emotional bond between men. And how they effect each other.

The film is also a part Sci-fi tale and a murder mystery. This film is about a cop who uses a old CB Radio and finds out he is communicating with his deceased father in the past a few days before his death. Like most stories about being able to change the past this brings many repercussions. This film took me by surprise when I went to see it. I thought it would be ok. I never expected it to be this good. It affected me more then I ever expected. The less I say about it the better. As much of the fun of the film comes from discovering it and new details in the story. The filmmaker leave it ambiguous why this communication takes place. But this strangely works as a strength for this movie.

This was part of Dennis Quaid’s comeback and I am happy as he has always been a steady talented actor who I first became a fan of by way of GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.

James Cavizel the man with the leading man looks who never quite seems to become a star is also good in this film.

One of the things I like about this film is that it is unpredictable though you don’t want to solve it. You want to experience it for a mainstream movie. I really loved this undiscovered gem that needs to be given more appreciation. I realize it was made by no great auteur but Gregory Hoblit who seems to pick hacky scripts but gets the best performances out of his actors really comes through with this film. Which is worth buying and a must see. It’s not fast but moves at a good pace and is entertaining    

GRADE: A-